


Sue Storm’s Dating Service

by silver_drip



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Comic Book Science, F/M, M/M, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_drip/pseuds/silver_drip
Summary: Sue Storm uses her knowledge of the multiverse to play matchmaker.Frostiron happens.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Temul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Temul/gifts).



> So I don’t know much about the character Susan Storm/Richards, so her characterization might be completely off the mark.

* * *

Sue's new dating service took the world by storm, or, more accurately, took the multiverse by storm.

Most dating services were based on personality tests and age brackets.

Sue’s was a bit more… scientific.

Sue Storm, the Invisible Woman, was a doctor in quantum physics.

Her partner, and on and off again boyfriend, had a penchant for opening portals to different universes.

Their powers combined to create a better understanding of the possibilities that could happen with just the smallest changes in the world.

Sue used this knowledge to compile statistics… on who dated who.

It was, perhaps, not the best use of the technology, but after a few too many drinks with Janet Van Dyne, it was worth spending time on.

Sue’s dating service worked by figuring out who an individual dated/married most often in the different universes.

The science became a little… soft after that.

She had an algorithm to measure happiness.

She balanced happiness of the pair with the longevity of the couple, or in some cases, polyamorous relationships.

Sue first looked into her own readings—to find out the majority of her counterparts were doing the same thing and were with Reed Richard. The only other person that matched up with her romantically was married in her universe.

She shrugged off the news, feeling a bit more secure in her relationship with Reed.

Sue looked into Johnny’s different date lives and found that her brother was just as flighty when it came to women in all the universes.

After compiling data on a few more friends, and finding Ben Grimms a date, she went public.

Her service was expensive at the start, mostly because it took so long to gather up all the data for just one person.

Investors were happy to help though, giving her the equipment she needed. (Though Reed wasn’t happy to see some of his lab space in the Baxter Building eaten up by such a ‘frivolous endeavor’.)

Sue paid him no mind though. She’s happy to bring people together.

*

Reed would say it was Johnny’s fault.

Johnny would say it was Reed’s fault.

Sue would say it was both their faults, both for Johnny antagonizing Reed and for Reed falling for his taunts.

A portal had opened right outside the Baxter Building and the Fantastic Four hadn’t been enough to close it.

Thankfully, the Avengers weren’t too far away.

The two teams meshed nicely.

Hulk followed the Thing’s directions well on the smashing front.

Reed had been too irritated to try to lead the two groups.

Johnny, Clint, and Tony mouthed off to each other playfully.

Sue, Natasha, and Steve kept everyone updated on the different areas of battle.

Despite that, the battle lasted longer than usual, only ending when Reed and Tony figured out how to close the portal.

They were all exhausted.

“I’m ordering pizza,” Johnny said while his flames died down and he landed on the street. “You’re all invited.”

The Avengers gave each other looks before shrugging and following him into the Baxter Building.

Bruce immediately went to one of the spare bedrooms to sleep off his exhaustion.

Natasha and Steve borrowed Sue’s phone to report into SHIELD.

“Congratulations on taking your dating service public,” Tony said to Sue. “I bought up a few shares myself.”

Sue snapped her thumb.

“That’s where I saw your name recently! That had been bothering me all day.” She smiled at him. “It’s proprietary, but I’ll let you take a look under the hood if you want.”

“Will Reed bite my head off if I do?” Tony grinned salaciously at Sue. She scoffed.

“Like I’d need him to whoop your ass if you ever tried to get fresh with me.” She grabbed Tony’s arm. “Come on.”

*

Sue and Tony were still talking tech and the implications of the multiverse when the pizza came.

The Avengers and the Fantastic Four were wise enough to go to the pair rather than try to pull them away.

It took Clint waving a piece of pizza under Tony’s nose to get his attention and subsequently Sue’s.

They all chowed down, excluding Bruce, who was still asleep.

Reed joined in on Sue and Tony’s conversation before realizing their topic kept swirling back to the dating service.

There was a loud beep and Sue hopped out of her seat. She licked her greasy fingers before typing away at her keyboard. A printer came to life as Tony went over to her.

He lifted up one of the first sheets of paper.

Sue plucked it out of his hand.

“It’s alphabetical and I make a practice of not letting other people see someone’s results.”

“Bruce wouldn’t mind,” Tony said while reaching for the paper. Sue thwacked his hand away.

“What about Bruce?” Steve asked, already having polished off a whole piece with no signs of slowing down.

“Tony was wondering about his multiverse dating lives so I decided to print out the whole team’s,” Sue said before slapping Tony’s hand again. “I’m watching you, mister.”

“Barton’s is already printing.” Tony was holding his hands to his chest, doing his best to look innocent.

Clint said something with his mouth full as he stood up.

Natasha kicked him and he nearly dropped his pizza slice.

He growled something out and shoved the rest of it into his mouth just to spite her.

Natasha stood up and Clint quickly ran off to where Sue and Tony were. He wiped his greasy hands off on his pants.

Sue handed over his report with a look of disgust on her face.

Tony went to Clint’s side to read over his shoulder.

“Who’s Barbara Morse?” Tony asked loudly, speed reading ahead.

Clint made a choking noise and Natasha was happy to come over and whack him on the back.

She took his report while she was at it.

“Bobbi is with SHIELD,” Natasha answered while grinning evilly. “She’s going to love this.”

Clint tried to get his report back, but Natasha skillfully avoided him.

After a minute of jumping around Clint finished his oversized bite and was able to talk.

“No! She’ll drag on me so hard, Tasha! You know she will.”

“You owe me.” Natasha glanced at Clint’s report before handing it back to him. “Who’s Laura Jenkins?”

He looked at the list of the woman his other selves had happy relationships with Laura Jenkins was ranked second only to Bobbi.”  

“No idea,” he said while frowning.

“She’s a good old Wisconsin girl. Want her number?” Tony asked while wiggling his phone in front of them. There was a picture of a pretty blond on it. “She’s single,” he sang out.

Clint’s face took on a startling shade of red.

“I can find my own dates, thank you very much.” Despite his words, Clint folded up his report and put it in his pocket.

“Steve, do you want to see yours? I’ve, uh, only used data from your counterparts that are in this century.” Sue looked awkward, but Steve took his report after wiping his greasy hands off on a napkin.

Steve read uninterrupted before letting out an ‘oh’.

Johnny began making a comment, but Ben elbowed him into silence.

Steve nodded to himself and smiled softly.

“Thanks, Sue.”

“Recommend me to your friends. That’s all I ask.”

“Share with the class,” Tony said, knowing he wouldn’t be able to sneak a peek unless Steve wanted him to.

“Another time.” Steve folded his report in half. “I have a lot to think about.”

“The fossil just realized men were an option,” Natasha said in a dry voice. Steve’s blush was answer enough. “I don’t want to see mine.”

There was a tense moment that Sue easily broke by taking Natasha’s newly printed report and shredding it.

The printer paused, as if it was thinking.

“You might want to get some new ink. Your printer is about to run a marathon when it comes to Tony’s dates,” Clint joked.

“The reports are limited to the five happiest relationships,” Sue said while looking at the printer.

The silence stretched on.

After shifting on her feet Sue went to her computer.

The sound of her fingers on the keyboard filled the area.

“This is… different.”

“I know I’ve got a love ‘em and leave ‘em history, but there’s got to be…”

Natasha put her hand on Tony’s shoulder, trying to comfort him.

“It’s not that. You definitely have some good relationships.” Sue bit her lip. “The data’s still correlating.”

“What’s the problem?” Sue glanced up from the computer towards him and the group.

“Longevity of a relationship is factored in and one of your, uhm, partners and you can have a really long relationship. My algorithms are trying to take that into account. It shouldn’t skew the results.” Sue bit her lip. “Your report might be a bit controversial—”

The printer shouted back to life and Tony hurried over to it.

He grabbed the first sheet before the ink could properly dry.

Tony read it twice over with his mouth gaping open.

He dropped it to the ground and grabbed the next sheet.

He read it faster than the first.

“Loki Laufeyson?!” Clint said in abject horror, reading the discarded sheet of paper.

Clint was already started to get riled up when Steve motioned for him to be quiet.

The third and final page of the report came out.

He read it before gathering the discarded sheet.

Tony nodded to himself and left.

*

The Baxter Building had been attacked various times, mostly by Doctor Doom and occasionally Namor.

This occasion was different though.

Loki had laid siege to the Baxter Building.

Mr. Fantastic was tied in knots around a car. The Thing had been vaulted into the ocean. The Human Torch was knocked out.

No one knew where the Invisible Woman was.

Green energy was crackling over the Baxter Building by the time the Avengers got onto the scene.

“Ah, shit,” Tony said, forgetting he was on the commlink.

“Report, Iron Man,” Captain America called out.

“I may have told Loki about the report Sue gave me.”

“How did you even get in contact—”

“We go to the same bar!” Tony shouted, cutting Clint off. “Shit, shit, shit! He’s probably skinning her alive!”

Before anyone could react, the front doors to the building swung open.

Loki and Sue walked out. Sue’s shoulders were tense and Loki had a stack of papers in hand.

“Iron Man!” Loki called out with his usual flair. “Come here immediately.”

“Karma’s about to kick your ass, Stark,” Clint spit out through the commlink.

Tony ignored him and started descending as Sue went to untangle Reed.

“Reindeer Games,” Tony said cautiously as he landed and retracted his helmet so he could see Loki properly.

“Anthony.” Loki scowled. He took in a deep breath through his nose before visibly trying to smooth out his expression. “It seems that we are compatible.”

“I’ve come to the same conclusion.” They were both eyeing each other cautiously.

“We should go on a date.”

“Are you asking or telling?” Tony said with an eyebrow raised.

Loki didn’t respond immediately, instead he was weighing the options.

“I’m merely saying what you’re thinking.” Loki grinned. “I’m not wrong.”

“That’s true, but if you want this to be anything more than hostility we need communication. What you think I’m thinking might not always be right.”

Loki bared his teeth.

“You doubt my abilities?” Loki’s voice hinted at danger and Tony could see his teammates getting a little closer. Tony waved them off.

“No, I doubt my ability to not use that to my advantage. I know I’d try to mislead you for my own ends.” It hurt Tony to admit it, but relationships scared him. That fear could lead him to doing something epically stupid.

 “You think you could manipulate me?” Loki looked like he was holding back a laugh.

“I think I’d try to the point where we’d both be ready to call it quits.”

They were both quiet as they thought about what Tony said.

“Then communication is necessary,” Loki decided. His stance eased slightly. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

Tony smiled brightly.

“I’d love to.”


End file.
